Thursday, November 12, 2015

Cromidon: The Invasion

Original art for the Cromidon Invasion.

I’ve been prepping for a conference I’m attending soon. I wanted to have 10 mostly sub-ready stories with their corresponding queries. I almost made it. I took out two—just not ready—and I am happy to say that I have six picture book queries, one chapter book and one middle grade novel query ready for the query critique session. Now I'm looking forward to making them better.

My little son has been busy too, writing his own 10-chapter story called CROMIDON Invasion. It’s sort of a Jack and Annie meet Aliens spin. 

With his permission, I will share chapters one and two (original spelling and grammar mostly intact):

Chapter 1: The Invasion

Hi. My name is Billons and I want to tell you a story … that hapend to me, ok. So I signd up for the Explore Other Planets, and it turnd out seviral million people had already signd up! Now I’ll explane what the ship looked like: Jigantick! 

More that 10000,125602597 rooms. Now I got a room mate whos name was Jill. Now Jill was vey, very kind. That’s what I liked about her. Were takeing off came a vouse from the speacer. their were beeping sounds lik this: beep! beep! beep! doomp!

once we herd the doomp their was hissing nousis and the ground was shaking “What’s happaning” said Jill “Were takeing off didn’t you here? I said “Oh” said Jill. Suddenly their was a wooshhh and we saw a puf of smoke out the window and then we soomed into space.

Chapter 2: Things on the Planet

the running stoped, the beeping stoped all we saw was the deep dark depths of space “wow” said me and Jill at the same time. It was quiet. then their was booming entering hiper drive came a vouce “Oh great” I said We amedetly looked out the window We saw colors of blu, red, and shades of green and tercous and aqua 

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! We scremed. It felt like a jigantick earth quake! We fell over I hit my head on the wall Jill hit her nose on the dresser then every thing stoped I was very dizi Jill looked lik she would vomet then the voice said calling Jill Munc then a man came and toke Jill by the hand and went away I looked on the tv we were on a planet! I saw Jill on the screen then I saw a little green alien runing toward her it atact her then she ran back into the ship and a few minuts later she was back in the room.

To be continued ...

And there readers, I will leave you in suspense of what might possibly happen to Jill and Billons in the CROMIDON Invasion

Have a great weekend. I’m hoping I will. 


  1. That's so great that your son is writing a story. Please thank him for sharing part of it with us and tell him to keep up the good work.

    1. I've had times I've thought I should just stop wasting my time with writing, but when I see my children taking off with their own and even illustrating my stories and their stories, it gives me the drive to keep going. They are benefiting from my attempts too and I love what they come up with. Thanks for your comment.

  2. Johnell, what a great start!!! I love how ACTIVE the story is. We can all learn a thing or two from this excerpt. Thank you.

    1. Yes. I love reading my kids' stories. It's such a great way to get inside their brains and they surprise me with their knowledge and cleverness so often.